Down the unwise lane

I need to get something off my chest, but I'm not always able to say certain things to one's face. Hence, I do appreciate if you're taking up some of your personal time to read this. Forgive me if you feel like I'm flakey, or that I don't put in the effort in being a good friend. I admit that I tend to do that a lot some of the time, and I take full responsibility for it. I sometimes figure for myself that doing favours or hanging with friends sometimes isn't worth my time, especially when I think that you guys are just using or taking advantage of me. Or that people secretly hate me and are only thinking of getting to my very core and destroying me. Don't get me wrong, it's not your fault - it's mine. Things happened back in high school - bad things , which consequently have shattered my self esteem (to a point) over the last few years, with its implications haunting me to this very day. It's been nearly 4 years since I left hi...

I would never understand the deep, dark crevices of my own mind. I often wonder how I come to garner so many humanly feelings, all at once. Feelings for a fellow person, is the point in question. It's as if you want to be with that person, but you don't want to. Like you are attracted to him, both physically and emotionally, but you aren't? ...Like you love him, but you don't? It's feelings like this that often creep out from the dark pits of your stomach, squirming its way up your throat. That unexplained presence tickling your uvula, causing you to throw up a little bit from both feelings of disgust and bliss. Like it stirs up all these emotions within you, so much that it starts to eat you from the inside out.

I seriously have a problem with my sleeping patterns. I'd just ended my second day of my internship yesterday, round about 4:45pm, soon after I ended my hours for the day, and the boss briefed me on my tasks for Friday (since he won't be in that day). I won't say what, but it sounded like a simple enough project for me to undertake. After all, I was told during my interview that my internship would be project-based and not just a single role. I quipped with my colleague about how I was so eager to leave high school back in the day, and now 4 years later I'm working in a school. Oh, the irony. Anyhow, after coming home and having had dinner, I fall asleep almost immediately after. Hence the weird sleeping patterns. I woke up at about 1am earlier, and have been wide awake since. Also, I'm supposed to be awake in about 2.5 hours for class later at 9am. I should be using this time awake to catch up on the work I missed out last week when I was sick, but... I...

In case you've typed this address into your web browser and wondered why this blog is practically empty, it's because I've switched links. This link was previously for my first blog which has since been privatised, has now been changed to this . Anyway, amidst my slow and painfully annoying recovery after 2 consecutive nights of partying last weekend, I'm waiting to begin my 16-week part-time internship, starting tomorrow. Surprisingly, I'm feeling quite neutral about it. Well, should I compare it to my entering uni during my first year, the feelings are definitely neutral. I guess this makes for my very quick first post on my new public blog. I'm anticipating a yummy chicken and mushroom cheese baked rice dinner, courtesy of le big brother. Wish me luck for my internship, and cheers!